Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

Do you ever stop to think about the things no one else knows about you? The things you have done that you now wish you had not done.  Your quirks and seeming shortcomings that were really beyond your control, but nonetheless you have always tried to minimize or hide them. The things about you that make you unique and special that you have always downplayed in order to more easily conform to everyone else’s expectation.

I suppose we all have some personal oddities about which we would just as soon not tell. In the same way, we have probably all done something about which would we would just as soon not be asked to explain.  All that not telling and not asking requires a good bit of energy. There is an ever present fear that the world might discover who we really are.  For everyone to really know us would be devastating because then the world would really know who we are and we might get voted off the island.  The worst part is that it keeps us from ever really accepting ourselves with all of our bumps, bruises, and bright spots for the human beings that God created us to be. The joy that God desires for us is lost in all of our effort to not tell and to keep from being asked.

If we are fortunate, over time we come to accept who we are.  We extend the grace that God gives to us to ourselves.  Our shortcomings no longer keep us from experiencing the contentment of being at peace with ourselves, others and God. We realize our notions of worthiness, disjointed and broken as they were by this world’s values, were completely redefined by God in Christ. We are made worthy by God coming into the world to be with us and to die for us.  God comes for each of us and God comes for all of us.

The time and effort that went into not asking and not telling can now be used for living as God has created and redeemed us to live. Now we have energy to love as we have been loved. Now we have time to forgive as we have been forgiven. Today we can accept as we have been accepted.

2 thoughts on “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

  1. As Peggy Campolo says, even for us straights there are numerous other closets to hide in or risk coming out. As a Christian pacifist, I always feel weird doing anything to help gays and lesbians get into the military. Instead, I want to know what Christians can do to be banned from the military as gays and lesbians are–and as Christians were before Constantine’s shotgun wedding of church and state!

    But, as Gandhi taught us, nonviolence is only a live possibility for those who have the option of being violent. Rejecting military service is only possible for gays and lesbians when they have the option of open military service. And, just as integration of the military racially in the ’50s paved the way for the Civil Rights movement, so repeal of DADT will aid greater acceptance of gays and lesbians in the rest of society–and the churches. (This is what opponents of repeal, like John McCain & Oliver North are afraid of, of course.)

    Thanks for the courage of tackling this subject.

    BTW, could you please change my link to the new blog: ? Thanks.

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